The Boring Shop
Things that exist, that you do not need, and that somebody nonetheless went to the trouble of manufacturing.
Heads up: these are Amazon affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases, at no extra cost to you. It costs you nothing and it helps keep this site running. Nothing here has been paid for or sponsored, and no prices are listed because Amazon's change constantly — check the current one on their page.
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The Useless Machine
You flip the switch. A small arm comes out of the box and flips it back off. The arm retreats. That is the complete function of this object. It is arguably the most honest product ever manufactured, and if anything on this page deserves to exist, it is this.
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Yodelling pickle
A plastic pickle. You press it and it yodels. There is no further feature set and no wider context. Somebody designed this, somebody approved it, and a factory made enough of them that you can buy one today.
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Inflatable flailing tube man
The wobbling arm-waving figure from outside car dealerships, now available for your garden, where it will alarm your neighbours and delight absolutely everybody under twelve. Needs a blower and a lot of commitment.
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Giant rubber chicken
The rubber chicken has been funny for over a century and shows no sign of stopping. This one is unreasonably large, which is the correct direction to take it.
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Reversible sequin Nicolas Cage pillow
Brush the sequins one way and it is a plain cushion. Brush them the other way and Nicolas Cage appears. You control when this happens, which is more power than most people are ready for.
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Toilet golf set
A putting green, a club and a ball, designed for the floor of a bathroom. It answers a question nobody asked and answers it thoroughly.
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Squirrel feeder with an umbrella
A feeder that holds a corn cob under a small parasol, so the squirrel can eat in the shade. The squirrel did not request this. The squirrel will use it anyway.
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Squirrel finger puppets
Small squirrels for your fingers. We are aware this is the second squirrel product on this page. We have chosen not to examine why.
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Banana slicer
Slices a banana into even pieces, replacing a task that takes a knife roughly four seconds. Famous mostly for its reviews, which became a small internet event of their own.
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Stuffed banana with a magnet in it
A soft toy banana that sticks to your fridge. The banana theme on this page was not planned and is now, apparently, a feature.
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Large stretchy gorilla
A gorilla made of the strange sand-glue material that stretches slowly and then sags back. Deeply satisfying, faintly unsettling, entirely without purpose.
How these were chosen
Every item here made somebody laugh out loud when they found it. That was the entire selection process. Nothing on this page is here because it pays more, and nothing has been reviewed, tested or endorsed — these are products that amused us on the internet, not recommendations.
If something has vanished or the link has broken, tell us on the contact page and it will be fixed or removed.